


read a story in your sleep

by winchilsea



Category: DCU, Young Justice
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchilsea/pseuds/winchilsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim asks Barbara to tell him about Jason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	read a story in your sleep

**Author's Note:**

> for the [young justice ficathon](http://kidiots.livejournal.com/23198.html) [prompt](http://kidiots.livejournal.com/23198.html?thread=294302#t294302): _"After staring at that one particular memorial at the grotto, Tim works up the nerve to ask Barbara what Jason was like."_

Tim's seen Jason before, of course, on the other side of the camera. He's _watched_ Jason fly across rooftops as Robin, but he's never known him. Not really. Never knew what he liked to eat or his favorite color. He has clues as to who Jason was when he wasn't trying to imitate Dick—a scathing glare here, a too angry insult thrown at crooks there—but...it's not enough.

He wants to know about Jason, the Robin before him, and he can't ask Bruce because that way lies things unpleasant and he can't ask Dick. It feels like it would be wrong to ask Dick, the two of them discussing an absent Robin.

(If Robin asks Robin about Robin...he's never been as good with the jokes as Dick.)

He thinks about asking the others—Conner or M'gann, maybe even Zatanna, but he doesn't know them. That feels even more wrong: to be asking for something so intimate from people he doesn't know.

These days, he spends more time in the grotto than the others combined. Not that anyone knows that Tim slinks down there whenever he can. It's like he thinks the memorial will tell him something, as though it'll come to life and be Jason for him. Dick sees him heading that way once, but never comments on it. 

(Two baby birds in the grotto. Where's the rest of the nest?)

There's only one other bat flying in Gotham and it's Barbara. Her sadness is painted differently than the others, lacking Bruce's guilt or the simmering anger that Dick tries to hide. It's a different kind of mourning, the kind where you've learned to let go. He doesn't mean to belittle her sadness, but he's sure of what he sees. Barbara's let go of Jason, has learned to let the ache heal. Still, it's more intimate than Tim's distant mourning.

He sits on the idea for weeks, eyes lingering on her back as she disappears into the night, her black cape flowing behind her. He's careful about his watching, of course, but Dick catches him once and gives him a pat on the back and says, "She's out of all our leagues, Timmy."

It keeps going. He makes a list of ways to ask her, of how to approach her and demand something so personal. In the end, she makes the choice for him.

It's a Sunday, debriefing finished half an hour ago and Tim has been staring up at Jason for 20 minutes. He's replaying the nights he went Robin-watching, digging up whatever photos he can remember and placing a memory to them. Barbara's presence goes unnoticed until she nudges his shoulder.

"He's a looker, isn't he?" she asks.

Tim, who has been sitting on this for days and weeks, who has spent nights after school lying on his bed and coming up with a script for this moment, who has wondered and ached for this knowledge, blurts out, "Tell me about him." Then, flushing, adds, "Please. If you want to."

There's a moment of stunned silence before Barbara bursts out laughing. Near the end, it turns a little sad.

(Everything about them is a little sad.)

She slings an arm over his shoulder, drawing him in close and he flails a little, doesn't know where to put his hands.

"His favorite color was green," she says, "He had a serious mouth on him, and he liked to read. Kid swore up and down like a sailor and read proper literature."

His face is pressed into her shoulder and she's speaking slowly into his ear, her soft puffs of laughter warm over his skin. Making his eyes focus on anything is an impossible task, so he closes them and loses himself to the sound of Barbara's voice.

"He had this anger inside of them," she says, and he feels her head shift slightly, like she was shaking it, "this righteous anger, I guess, that Batman never approved of. Too violent." This close, he can hear her swallow. "But Robin was more about protecting innocents than hurting criminals. It was just…the hurting came easier." She trails off, and Tim imagines it, a Robin burning too brightly for the night.

"Was he always angry?" he asks.

The question startles her. "No," she says slowly, then repeats more firmly, "No, he wasn't always angry. More happy than angry, a bundle of energy and retorts that made some of Nightwing's sound good."

He thinks he's supposed to laugh here, but he doesn't. He's too busy trying to paint a picture in his head, replacing an angry scowl with a devious smile. It's still too much like Dick, but then he factors in the drive to protect and the lack of restraint. The fact that Tim doesn't know Jason at all becomes clearer.

"I was his math tutor, you know," she says, faking a cheerful tone. "He flirted with me all the time, asking me on dates." Her voice cracks. "I said no, of course, but sometimes I’d humor him and play along. We were both doing it to get a rise out of Nightwing whenever the jerk stopped by to visit."

Tim opens his eyes when she starts breathing heavily. A little timid, he lifts a hand and places it on her back. "It's okay. You don't have to continue."

It's then that her knees buckle, and she brings Tim down to the floor with her, both of them kneeling and still in an awkward kind of embrace. She's crying. And oh, Tim gets it. 

Looking up at Jason, he realizes that she hasn't moved on like he thought, just learned to hide it better. She's always been the strongest of all of them, he thinks. 

"Thank you," he tells her, voice muffled by her hair. He's sure she hears him anyway.

He wonders if Jason can hear him too.


End file.
